July is here. Dog days are here. Summer is here, and I’m in a routine of busy, busy days again. When I got mono 3 weeks ago I slowed way down, but here I am constantly on the go again. I have a lot of plans for the future. Moving to LA, graduating college, becoming a reiki master and personal health coach. Most importantly however is my spiritual routine, consistent acts of self care. Consistent yoga, readings, slowing down, entering this moment. This moment is where life is happening. Life isn’t in the future or the past; it’s all happening now and I’d like to be present for it all. Always grateful that I can turn this moment into a moment of bliss. It’s all up to me. I’m responsible for the peace I feel at any given moment.I’ve been aware of my mind lately, and man has it been trying to sabotage me and my joy. It wants me to compare myself to others. How silly it is to want to be any way other than the how I am. How could I forget that everything about me is truly perfect? Nothing about us, our physical bodies, our temperament, our families and the people in our lives, is by accident. I forgot that everything is perfectly constructed and essential to my plan here on Earth.The mind likes to create drama and suffering, and if we’re not aware that it’s all in our minds, then we believe it and it becomes reality (for us). Every little trigger is teaching us something. And when we’re triggered we have to practice anchoring back into the now; the state of awareness. This state allows us to see the possibilities of life, that this is not all there is, that our plan is so much greater than being born into the physical realm and dying, that our soul lives on eternally, that every opportunity presents itself so that we can reduce the negative karma in our lives.I’m learning that I will have to come to this realization again and again. Life is about coming back, returning to our true selves, our true journey, our true calling. My mind expands when I just think about it. Everything feels infinite and all the drama feels so, so trivial. When we laugh at the mind for trying to reel us into the drama and problems, it loses power over us instantly and life feels lighter than before.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XR7mjtoAdpM Watching this video felt like hearing someone tell me things about myself that even I didn’t know. But I know that it relates to me because deep down I know that he is speaking about the person I truly am…the person I was before society told me otherwise…the person I was before anyone told me to be someone else. This video speaks to my soul, and I hope it can do the same for you.
You are not the person you were yesterday. You are not that person, no matter that the people around you still believe that you are. No matter that you didn’t have a chance to apologize to them. No matter that they didn’t accept your apology. No matter that you still re-play what went wrong and what you “should” have done. Stop thinking about what you should have done. There is absolutely no way to go back in time. Absolutely none. Stop trying to keep the past alive because you think that you deserve to feel guilty. You deserve peace. Forgive yourself for what happened, because it was always going to happen that way. You want the lessons that you learned, but not the experience. But who would you be today without that experience? Realize that you have changed, that you are always changing. Allow yourself room to grow. Take the lessons that you’ve learned with you, and keep moving forward.
Writing blog entries is scary because I think a lot about how other people are going to perceive what I’m writing. And I could always copy what I’ve already written in my journal, but I always would rather focus on the present than on the past. Right now, I want to make it a point to post more entries. I want to free myself from the burden of perfection and write without really thinking about what I’m writing. Sometimes, that is the best writing. It’s the most therapeutic writing, in my opinion. If someone likes what he or she is reading, then that’s great. If no one likes what I’m writing, that’s okay too. This blog is for me to document my life and my ever-changing perspectives on things. If I’m the only one happy with what I’ve created on here, then I’m perfectly okay with that.